To Kiss of Not To Double Kiss.

January 17, 2010

At cocktail parties there seems to be a lot of people double kissing — a gaggle of revellers who insist that one kiss is not enough; that if you kiss them you are going to have to turn the other cheek.

This is how it goes. You say, “Oh, hi!” and move toward the person, perhaps kissing them on one side of the cheek, and then just when you’re about to move on to the next person, they pull you back in for the second smooch. Frankly, it feels contrived, affected really, but when I expressed my concern to one partygoer, she said, “Dahling, the double kiss is so Montreal.” She said it with a British accent (even though she’s from Napanee), which proves my point. I thought comedy festivals, bagels and bars open until 3 a.m. were so Montreal, but apparently that makes me uncouth.

To prevent you from making the same social faux pas, here are some of the latest trends for the seasoned greeter:

1. People from Toronto hug.
2. People from Montreal double kiss.
3. People from Montreal (who do yoga) double kiss and double bow.

Sometimes the greeting takes longer than the entire conversation.

This double kissing has also leaked into the business world. I travel a lot for work. One week I was in Montreal and later in the same week I was in Toronto in hopes of securing a particular deal. During a momentary lapse of memory, I forgot which city I was in, leaned in and double kissed my perspective client — right on the smacker. I turned red and said, “It’s so Montreal.” Suffice it to say, I got the job.

My point is that no matter what city you live in, the double kiss does not belong at work. Can you imagine Donald Trump saying, “It’s a done deal; we double kissed on it.” In fact, in some businesses the double kiss means the deal’s off; that when you get home there’ll be a horse head in your bed — lest we forget the Godfather movies.

The reason I’m protesting this so much is because I had just gotten the whole hugging thing down. I had learned to hug just the right amount of time, not too tight, not too long. I had learned to put down my purse so I could do it with both arms. People have actually said, “Deb, you are a good hugger.” Others have said, “You can let go now; you’re acting like a stalker.”

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Categories: Workplace Hug |