The past couple of years I decided to begin asking people for what I want. I ask for work I love. I ask for hugs. For company. I ask for community. I ask for cash. I ask for time to do what I love.
And, I asked for help doing what I am no good at.
After a desperate year, two years ago, of many things not working out I just decided to go for EXACTLY what I wanted.
As a result, I professionally have pitched a lot of ideas. A new keynote talk, a play, a radio show and I even asked for a publisher. A couple said ya, of course. A couple said maybe later. Most have said no. But there is something so liberating in requesting what you want rather than settling for second best.
Personally it has freed me up so much. I ask people for what I need. When I am tired I say I need rest. When I am thrilled for them I celebrate.. And when I need direction I ask for the maps they have used.
I ask them how they got to where they are.
And then I try what they tell me to do ( A blog for another day-but if they are helping you, actually try doing what they tell you to do. )
I have found few people who outright reject me.
For years I said I was too scared.
But then I realized that when I was speaking on behalf of others I was fierce and unafraid. Some might say aggressive.
But asking for myself was a different story. How often I assumed the answer would be no.
This meant I spent so many years not asking the right person for help. In other words, I asked the 3rd cousin of the assistant because I was so afraid of rejection. Which is kind of like drinking near beer. It might not taste bad, but it won’t get you where you want to go.
So now I talk to the people with the power to give the right answers for what I need to do.
I have been developing quite a skill set to get crystal clear on what I am looking for and then ask directly for what I want.
So here are my questions:
What do you want?
What can you do today to get the courage to take action steps toward it?
You don’t need fourteen more books, or courses or trips to the yoga centre. You need to ask directly for what you want. ( then go to yoga)
Do one thing today. Because Today is where there your power is. And if you’re afraid so be it. Well act as if you are not. Eventually you won’t be.
But I feel as I come up on 60 I am finally growing a pair.
Deborah Kimmett is a motivator, comic and keynote speaker. She speaks and trains organizations all over North America on The Creative Power of Disruption. And How Storytelling Can Help Your Leadership Skills. She appears regularly on CBC Debaters, and Winnipeg Comedy Festival. Get inspired and contact Aysun @ firstname.lastname@example.org to book her for your next event.
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