Are you visioning your life, or living in fantasy?

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9 to 5 has never interested me. I am a freelancer, who for years was never free of fear.

Sure I got taken care of always, but what about the next time.

But here is the truth. I spent a great deal of time, hoping I would GET WORK.

I hoped I’d be found. Discovered. Picked. Plucked from obscurity. For many moons, I was chronically under-employed.  I’d threaten to leave the business. Of course I was an actor so I’d quit on Friday and come back Sunday  and nobody would know I was even gone.

I did the law of attraction. Explored the Power of Now like there was no tomorrow. And then when it didn’t work out I thought I was just not ” squeezing my butt cheeks hard enough” to get the FLOW….and by the way I hated the word, flow.

Because I struggled:

I worked harder than anyone to prepare

myself for work down the road.

Never  work for today.

Never plucking the money or opportunities

 that lay in front of me.

I was always going to make it bigger and

better…..later!!!

Always later.

Tomorrow never came, cash wise.

Or if it did come it would be in a windfall and I’d spend up to whatever the number was. I’d feel rich!!

(The word rich is relative here– folks–if I was up a thousand bucks I felt lavish.  Buy the whole house a steak. Feast or famine was a chronic state)

Then I got tired out.  A big hit happened and my back was up against the wall and I had to change….another FGO (frigging growth opp)

After working on my complex money issues I was lead to  Business coach BARBARA RICHARDS ( VISION WORK COACHING)  and she had the audacity to ask me to look for work. TODAY!!

How dare she? This was going to definitely cut in on my “winning the lottery fantasy time”

She pointed out, that  I could only make money in the day. Not tomorrow. Not go back to yesterday when I had one or two abundant moments. I had to do it TODAY>

Then she gave me my marching orders.

1) BACK AWAY FROM THE CREDIT CARD.  and spending money that I didn’t have. I was always living on a promise. I was living on the cheque that was being paid later in the month.

Then she  asked me to do something more horrific.  ASK FOR PAID WORK ( I always did charity work, volunteering,  and waited for the big cheque to save the day.  lead to her third piece of advice.

BACK AWAY FROM CRAZY  PEOPLE –personally and business I was leaking energy. Hanging out with people who drained my energy didn’t do their jobs and people in personal crisis. So I couldn’t do what I did best.

I thought this was hooey.  I scoffed. I sighed. I slammed a few doors.

She seemed undaunted, “Try this for 30 days and if it doesn’t work I will refund your misery.”

The first few months of living in reality –was felt like my soul was being scraped across a cabbage grater.

I stayed focused –asked for work, sometimes got it, sometimes didn’t.

I started putting a price on my services, sometimes got it, sometimes didn’t.

And I started to back away from the crazy people I was working with and for.  I did relapse. (I’d run back just to take a whiff ) but eventually insanity bored me.

I broke free and now I am rich……..No. No. But

By moving my feet, it broke the stalemate in my head.

My energy shifted into a place where I could create again. And money started to come in. Not gobs but more …how do I say it…FLOW….

And the biggest side effect was LESS FEAR. Less fear. Doesn’t that sound great?

Do you have financial fears? Do you need to get actions that lead you from surviving to thriving? Leave a comment below or email me to tell me how you can free up your energy, so you really are a FREElancer

 

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