This is Ms Diane Flacks writer, comic, media writer, plus SUPER Mom– A regular contributor on CBC’s DNTO. Diane and I discussed bragging rights for women.
Listen in on the conversation.
DEB: Is this ability to deflect our talents ingrained in us as women?
DIANE: Well, I suspected so, but it was confirmed when I interviewed this Yale researcher for DNTO on CBC radio. Turns out women don’t brag not because we can’t, but because we unconsciously anticipate getting a negative reaction for doing so. And guess what?? That negative reaction we’re worried about? It’s not in our heads. It is a real and tangible negative response that both men and women have to women who brag. The prof quoted this study where the text of a job interview was shown to research subjects.
When the research subjects thought it was written by a man, they loved him and wanted to hire him. When they thought it was written by a woman, they found her off-putting and wouldn’t want her on their team! So, yes, women’s inhibition about bragging is ingrained, and for a good protective reason!
Deb: In my family the men bragged about what they did, and women bragged about how much they suffered. So as long as women had a bad time doing something then we were allowed to brag.
DIANE: That’s hilarious! We do that too. Or the women brag about the areas that we feel we’re okay to have mastery in like cooking or parenting – although I would never brag about cooking unless speed dialing Sushi-to-go is an attribute.
Deb: Sometimes, I feel weird saying I am a good comic. I always want to say, I can be serious too. I want to add, “Yeah I’m depressed as we speak.” When people say, compliment me , I say thanks. “I like your shirt.”
DIANE – Yeah but you’re responding to a reality, Deb. Our business doesn’t really value comedy as much as drama, and women are way down on the value list too, so it’s hard to toot your horn about being a funny as hell person with lady-parts. But screw that you are hilarious and god love ya!
Deb- No, you are the one who is really funny.
DIANE- I love your hair.
Deborah: Thanks, where did you get that shirt?
Also if you want to hear WHY women can’t say good things about themselves: Listen to DNTO and bragging link:
Diane’s Question for you– Do you find it easy to name your talents and be proud of them? Well comment below and don’t hold back. We want to hear what you are really, really good at.