If this is your first Christmas without them….

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In this blog:  Grief: And all upcoming shows in 2019!  Scroll Down.

If this is your first Christmas without them, its not going to be the same.

As everyone wishes people happy holidays and merry Christmas it can be hard for those of you that are grieving, either an illness of yourself or a loved one. Or a death of someone near and dear.

Its easy to think you can push past it.

I know I did.

When my brother Kevin was dying Robert Hawke and I started a Facebook group called The Hope For Today Cafe, where you can read posts or listen to podcasts to help you when you or a loved one is sick or dying. Robert a fellow improviser is a kind and loving man, who helped me through so many emotions during that time, by being a good listener and telling me what I was going through was ok.

Kevin died in February and the following year I was surprised how hard the holidays hit me.  My Dad had died around this time, and I knew I tended to get blue. But with Kevin, I thought I’d dealt with my grief. I thought I’d be fine.

But, I wasn’t.

All the grief from my Dad came back. Plus Kevin’s.

So after several months without contact, I reached out to Robert again, and he said. “This year is the first year without him and its not going to be the same.”

Accepting that truth helped a great deal.

Its the pretending that everything is fine that is crazy.

The grief needs to be released otherwise it will come out sidewise. If you’re like me, you’ll get mad at the wrong person. You will yell at the store clerk.

You will alienate your best friend. Because grief doesn’t always come out as tears. It comes out any way it can. So honour it.

In that first year, you are  swimming in fast moving waters. Water that will toss you around and knock you against the rocks if you don’t know its force.

 You might get up happy in the morning and by lunchtime you will feel like you are drowning.

This first Christmas do whatever you need to do protect yourself.

If that is to be alone, be alone.

And if you need to celebrate the holidays in a smaller humbler version of what you used to do, do that.

If you need to dance or drive or hike or write do it. If getting into bed and sleeping, or making art or snuggling with children will get you through, its fine And whatever it takes to be fine. Fine is ok, for this year. This is just one holiday, one day, this will not be like this forever.

This grief will change. It will go in different directions, it won’t hurt the same way as it does now. So, gentle it my friend. Be ever so gentle. If you you can go to Facebook to follow The Hope for Today Cafe.

My new show DOWNWARD FACING BROAD will be touring this spring in the following places.

Feb 21st: Ellenas ( almost sold out) Napanee

March 8th Stirling Festival Theatre, Stirling

March 22: Grace Hall, Sydenham.

April 4th, Alumnae Theatre CBC Radio Taping of my comedy special, Toronto



March 7th, Peterborough International Women’s Day. ( Workshops and Speeches)

May 11th, 2019. 2nd Annual  Mother of All Mothers Day Show  with the most wonderful comedic women in Canada!@ Solar Stage Toronto. All proceeds to be going to Sistering.Org. Tickets on sale January 1st, 2019.

Need a laugh? Read  one of my books?

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