This email contains: Love Your Body Blog, News about Mothers Day Event, and new Web Series Kimmett on a Couch.
Love your body as it is! Do you notice these ads for “Bigger Sized women” are just really just showing ordinary sized women? That three letter word word big is such a negative concept for most woman. Big for a man is positive. For a woman its negative. The word petite is always favoured. “She is so petite.” Often a petite woman is feeling she is not the right size, either. But we have a body and a body type. A size has nothing to do with 99% percent of our lives, but for many women its something they point out to let people know they even though they are setting the world on fire, that there is a more perfect body coming down the pipe,
There is no new body coming in the mail.
And take it from me, if hating your body worked to make you healthier I would say hate away. But it doesn’t.
I came from a family who pointed out their size at every turn.
My grandfather thought it was sport to tell me I was fat. I was not. So he weighed me to prove to me I was the wrong sie.
When I was a little girl I’d be playing and he would get the scale out and weigh me.
And I’d be crying and he’d tell me I was a 100 pounds. I could see the scale said 89 pounds but he insisted I was 100 until I agreed with him.
The worse part was no one ever disagreed with him. He’s just joking.
My mom obsessed about her size. Then I began talking about my size. If I criticized me first then you couldn’t do it.
I began TOPS at 12. Weight Watchers at 16 and every other diet club there was!
I gained, I lost. I don’t know if I became a self fulfilling prophecy but I saw people check me out and say, “You have such a pretty face…..but…..”
LOVE YOUR BODY
Then I went into a business where size was everything. Even in comedy women were told that they weren’t measuring up not by how funny they were or weren’t but how sexy they looked. One TV executive said to me, “You’re funny. But you just aren’t ffffable.”
I was married. I was having sex! But in TV land, sexy came in only one package.
I bounced around from size 16 to size 8. And I felt it would all be perfect if I got to the right pants size.
For years I hated what I looked like. I used to joke, “I wish I just existed from the neck up. I wanted to be a brain in a jar, talking to other brains in jars,”
At around age 35 I stopped talking about this stuff. I refused to chat about size and diets and ten pounds people need to lose. I began affirmations of how perfectly fine I was- as is.
This means I absolutely refuse to make small talk about your latest diet or how much weight you lost. Or what food you are eating or not eating. Eat it. Don’t eat it. I don’t care. I have more important things to do.
However, I will talk about your love of your kids, your family, your talents and your accomplishments and struggles. I will talk about the people you’ve helped in your life.
Because I believe we talk about our weight when we are achieving out in the world. For a lot of women its not the body size as much as a place to fixate on
I still have negative thoughts. But I see they often reappear when I am doing well out in the world.
LOVE YOUR BODY it seems radical thought.
But if you could try to change your messaging it would free you up get to offer love and service and participate in joy at whatever size you are today.
If you wish, comment below to tell me how you deal with negative body chatter!
Have a great Wednesday, Deborah
P.S.The Mothers Day Show was such a big success. Look at these amazing ladies and gents, below.
( Brendan Brady Me, Linda Kash, Monica Parker, Moira Dunphy, Libby Osler (in back) Scott White Debra McGrath.
Laurel Brady, Judy Croon, Deborah Jarvis, Cathy Cleary.)
Besides being sold out it netted $1150.00 for Sistering.Org. Thanks to all who came out and to those of you who donated online. We have booked The Second City Theatre for May 11, 2019. Tickets go on sale in November 2019. )
Off to Victoria May 29th to tape another Debaters for CBC. Follow me on my One Funny Lady Facebook Page to be updated when its airing)
My Kimmett on a Couch Web series begins airing in two weeks. This is me, doing a bunch of sit down comedy on my couch about aging, being female, and tips for the young at heart. Subscribe to my newsletter Wed Wit and Wisdom.