I was in Isla Mujeres for International women’s day, attending the Conference called, We Move Forward. Eighty amazing women from all over the globe began the three days of inspiration.
Other than to be with fabulous women, I had no goals for this conference. I didn’t want to be Helen Reddy. I was woman, but there would be no roaring. I didn’t want to change, or vision or be motivated. I had improved enough. I wanted to enjoy the beauty of Mexican beaches and my delightful hotel.
But when you go to relax you will find one thing is true. Your mind has a mind of its own.
As soon as I commit to enjoying myself I start to hear a radio playing in my head. CKR U kidding me?
CKRU kidding me, is like a talk show with callers chiming in from my childhood, all blabbing about how I shouldn’t be this size, this age, this pasty. I should be someone else. Who? I don’t know. I know it’s a female trait to put all our anxiety on the body. We could have a day where we popped a kid out in a fields, put out fires, rescued cats and spay, but at the end of the day we always bemoan the fact we’re fat. Or think we are.
I think it because if we had to own how powerful we really are we’d afraid we’d start blowing up buildings with our excess energy.
But as the conference went on, and one woman after another inspired us with stories of courage and determination, I thought I am so sick of this CKRU kidding me playing in my head. IThere is a very big part of me that really does love myself, but this is like elevator music.
Frankly I have anaylised and made self help industry thousands of dollars and I really don’t care why its on my satellite dish, I don’t want to subscribe anymore.
So for the next few days, everytime I started to hear some negative mind fart, I purposely nipped it in the butt. I mean, bud.
I walked. danced, moved my booty, tasted food, laughed and cried till it hurt. I even attempted snorkelling. And Even though I ingested a fair bit of salt water started to feel good. Me! Someone with psoriasis and age spots and cellulite, in other words human, finally felt like I fit in my body. This body was okay. I was okay.
One delightful afternoon I came back to the Hotel Joya where I was staying, and a Norwegian couple I had befriended were splashing around in the pool.
They yelled ,
“Hey Deborah, come on in. You look hot.”
I did? Wow this affirmation crap was working.
See those beautiful young people didn’t care I was walking around with 54 year old hips and a size 14 bathing suit. Petra and Jarold thought I was looked hot. Sweaty even.
So, I went to my room and shut the curtains (for my room overlooked the pool) and as I slipped into swim wear I thought, time to suit up for life.
I did my chant. ” You are good. You are fine. You are lovely.”
When I came out of the room, I quickly got into the pool and the young Norwegians laughed at everything I said. I thought to myself,
” Deb you’re not just funny at home. You are funny, internationally. You should get a gig in Oslo.”
All I knew I was killing the Norwegians.
Then I looked down, and saw what was so funny! I had put my bathing suit on inside out. I looked at the Norwegians. They smiled. I looked at the bra cups bobbing on top of the water. I looked back at the Norwegians. They waited for my response.
” See, this is how we roll in Canada-Its a fashion thing.”
Then I dove in and flipped them my bum. To hell with it. I wasn’t going back to the room to change. I loved myself too much for that. Besides that’s what I wanted from this vacation. No change!! No more turning myself inside out. As I did the self love victory laps, I wondered how many Mohitos would it take before the Norwegians would pass out and I could finally go back to my room.
TELL ME what you think and if you want to SHARE THE LAUGHTER Please POSTING THIS ON YOUR FB PAGE for your friends who are in need of a smile. Be well.