Positive Feedback: Tell people what they are doing right.
This means noticing someone’s improvement no matter how small.
Magnify their good heart because what we focus on grows. If we stare at every flaw another person has, it magnifies. If you point out every mistake it starts to become all we see. But telling people what they have done right helps foster positive feelings in them and in you.
Focusing on positivity doesn’t mean you are naive. Or unsophisticated. That you are overlooking what’s wrong.
Positive feedback is seeing people, at least once in awhile, through a kinder lens.
Yes there is a time and place for honest feedback.
But in today’s world we need positive feedback even more than ever before. Because bad news comes at us 24 7. So it takes lot more for positive statements to break through and resonate on a soul level.
It’s proven that it takes 9 compliments to undo one negative comment.
This is not just a personality issue.
Its the way our brains are hard-wired.
We focus on the negative because the primitive brain is always looking out where a threat might be.
Recently I was speaking on change for the ministry of Labour and one of the attendees had a great line.
“Negativity is like velcro and positivity is like Teflon.”
Negative feedback sticks to us.
Positive feedback slides off like fried eggs off a Teflon pan.
So being skillful in your positivity is key.
Telling someone things like: “You are handling this. You got this thing. Look what you did just in the last year. You really amaze me.” helps.
And don’t just restrict these kind words to your kids.
Tell your parents, your partner, your co-workers.
Because lets face it no matter how confident you are or how old you are are its hard to see your own growth.
We get lost tens of thousands of times in our lifetime.
And if you live long enough you will even hear your own positivity echoed back to you. Some gem you said and have long forgotten will boomerang back. And then you can apply your own good ideas to yourself.
So spread a few seeds of kindness today and watch new seeds shoot up.
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