Most women feel they are never the right size. We think we’ll feel good if we just lose a few pounds. If we lose too many pounds, others worry we are getting anorexic.
We spray perfumes, fumigate, pluck and deforest parts ourselves to be acceptable to ‘somebody.’ It seems all the anxiety a woman has about her love life, her kids, and her money is put on her body.
Then there are the choices we make. If we are successful at work, we are called workaholics. If we have kids, we are just stay-at-home Moms, which in this society is one step up from a smoker. If we speak up, we’re a mouthy broad; if we don’t, we are a codependent doormat.
It’s as if we are at the mercy of some unseen remote control button, with somebody “out there” pushing the up and down arrow buttons attempting to get us to the right size.
We say the media does this to us, but hey, we buy the magazines. We watch the talk shows. We believe the drivel. We say men do this to us, but I have never been with a man who criticizes me as much as I have criticized myself. In fact, if he did, I’d dump him.
It’s hard accepting ourselves and our bodies just as we are. I know of what I speak. Since I was nine months old, I have often had psoriasis over 80 percent of my body. I have tried no dairy, no gluten, sun, no sun, pills, ointments, and homeopathic eye-of-newt expensive shit, and driven my karma down the law of attraction highway. Nothing I do has ever fixed it.
Some things are the way they are. Some things I need to accept. I have the heartbreak of psoriasis. Boo hoo. Some days I find it hard being in my skin, don’t you?
I am a big fan of Bryon Katie (the work.com) and lately I have been using one of her slogans.
When my skin is kind of patchy, I say to myself, “Somebody has to have psoriasis today. Might as well be me.”
When the thought comes to me that says, “you’re fat,” I say to myself, “Well, somebody has to be this weight today. Might as well be me.”
I still do what I can to improve, but this acceptance of my body and my mind has brought me a lot of healing.
And sometimes my skin cooperates and sometimes it doesn’t, but there is a lot more acceptance of my imperfections.
You would never judge someone you love for not looking or being perfect, so why do it yourself?
You are loveable with clear skin, fat butt, no butt, boobs, one boob, married to a boob, watching the boob tube, making money, not making money. You are okay.
Here’s the thing: It behooves you to like yourself. If you don’t, pretend as if you do, like you sometimes have to do with people you work with. Act as if you like yourself until you actually do. Eventually, you will know it in your being. But it requires patience. Reprogramming self-hate takes times. Loving ourselves as we are is the most radical thing we can do.
Besides, somebody has to accept herself today! It might as well be you.
So, tell me: What do you need to learn to love about yourself? How will it make your life better when you do? Leave your comment in the box below so we can cheer you on!
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FEW SPOTS LEFT: OCTOBER 13th DEB’S LUXURY WRITING SPA
OCTOBER 23rd, 2012