2017 had a lot to teach me.
See I hit 60 and since I am in good health, I thought I would put myself out there in ways that I hadn’t for a while.
And if not now when?
I did a lot of asking. And there was a lot of not getting.
Like, I showed my serious writing to people. I got kudos and I got a lot of good but here are the edits and changes and do-overs.
I did some film acting again. I was in a small movie. I auditioned twice and I worked at it for 2 weeks.
I moved into a home to live with friends. This helped me be more creative as I had less costs and I had to learn to be a roommate again.
In 2017, I asked for an acting agent. (At 60 I thought I’d start being famous. LOL.) I didn’t get one, yet.
I applied for the Toronto Fringe and I didn’t get in.
I wrote a play about my brother, Kevin, called The Year of The Suddenly, ( At the Grand Theatre in April 2018) It was written with love but the week before it opened I also got a cease and desist letter for that play. My creative team of angels helped me edit and stay on point as I told my truth in 3 different cities.
I got to be on the CBC Debaters a couple more times. I was asked to be on Winnipeg Comedy Festival. The Festival was the best time ever. Such a great time with a group of hilarious people. Yet, in the editing my set got cut because of length so it won’t be on TV.
I developed my new Flying Solo Writing Workshops at Second City.
I developed a kick ass gig featuring my new comedy on aging. Then was told no one wanted to see it.
I wrote a new talk on Storytelling! This enabled me to have one of the busiest speaking schedules in years but it also resulted in saying a few things on stage that offended some people. I got let go of an important contract. I was floored. Then I was offended by them being offended. Then I pushed my ego aside and got curious. “How can I make this right? ” I apologized and still they did not renew my work.
I made amends for the offence and I trust it will be worked out by whatever loving force there is in this old universe.
That is the partial list of my learning. Of WHAT I did.
But what I am interested in telling you, is who I was in these circumstances.
I was a person pushing past old fears and doubts. Sometimes it was fun, and other times it was hard. It garnered so many rewards. I was able to celebrate my life and also be aware of some of terrible defects-like that of comparing myself to others.
I was a person who rested, who had fun. And I was a person who was full of gratitude and service.
I was curious to ask,
What is underneath the mind’s chatter?
Why am I still holding onto these limiting beliefs?
I was a person who letting go of the old press releases.
I don’t know about you, but I can look good on paper!
But the REAL press release is the one that comes a knocking at 3 am!
The one that wakes you up out of a deep sleep and pokes at you and says
“Am you being the person you are called to be? Are you acting from your deepest calling?”
Sometimes I was a person who released the fears. Other times I was one who spent the rest of the night defending my right to be outraged.
In 2017 I was able to come back to the moment quicker than I did in 2016. By returning to my breath and staying in touch with my own inner wisdom.
That quiet place that waits to guide you.
And on the days, I wasn’t that person, I was one who piggy backed on the inner wisdom of my pals. My colleagues who were where I wanted to be.
I got to chat. To text. To say, “I don’t know how to get past this! Can you help me?”
( I don’t know about you, but I love to tell people what I know! But my opinions get me in so so much trouble.)
But in 2017, I was someone who re-learned that it is in the “I don’t know” where I receive my greatest gifts.
In other words, life was coaching me every step of the way through every minute of 2017!
So yes, 2017 schooled, me. I hope in 2018 you and I will continue to be schooled.
For being teachable is the point at which we get freedom!
THE HIT SHOW THE YEAR OF THE SUDDENLY Is Going on Tour~
Baby Grand Theatre, Kingston April 5-8th. Tickets on sale January 12th.
BECOME A SPONSOR OF THE YEAR OF THE SUDDENLY!