The Writing Recipe.

Posted by & filed under Creativity in your writing, Humour in Your Writing..

One pen,

One Piece of Paper.

One  Chair

One Ass.

Slowly lower the ass down on to the chair. Pick up the first ingredient and move it across the second ingredient, with quick strokes. Do this for ten full minutes and when you are fully ‘stirred’,  continue for a half hour or till done.

After years of using this recipe, I decided  I was getting in a rut.  I needed to break out of my pattern of  comedic timing. I needed to go deeper like I did in theatre. See, theatre is where I cut my teeth on writing. In theatre an idea can be developed, pondered;  a punch line doesn’t need to be found for pages, or ever. I needed to go to Ireland.

I signed myself up for an International Writers Retreat in the Cliffs of Moher. I climbed up curly roads near the  I got a B and B. I walked to the top of the mountain, in the rain, to a castle. I met a guru, called Irene Graham( who is so brilliant and sexy) and after a somber introduction about writing she drew on the blackboard her secret to writing.

“Get yer Chair, Sit your arse down on it and get your pen and get to it.”

I learned two significant things that day.

1) The recipe sounds better with an Irish accent.

2) And you don’t need to go to Ireland to find out the secrets to writing.

You just need to sit down with a cup of uncertainty and let thoughts spill out of you.  Lumpy unforgiving thoughts that won’t do what we want them to. And,  if you hold the space, sit the butt down and keep moving the pen, you’ll find out what is deeper than the press release you issue for the world. You’ll drill down to it to the flickers of brilliance one sees darting around like fireeflies. The thoughts that happen between the in breath and the out breath.

You capture that, and offer it up for supper with no apology, and no praise, and you’re welcome at the table of writers.


So sit ‘yer arse down and dig in.

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