Quinoa, we are done. I have tried to like you. I have rinsed you, not rinsed you, fried you and rolled you up in a ball, but now I am done. And sure I like when we hang out with glazed pears, and chicken stock and feta but its them I like– not you. So don’t send me an alert me with a new picture of how I don’t know how to treat you. Why should I keep trying? You’re the one that is bitter, not me. Yes, my friends, are to blame: they said you were good for me. But after two years of endless hours on Pinterest I am tired- I must trust my gut. I am going against the grain. So lets just keep it casual. I may say hello at a party once in awhile. But that’s it. Off you go–go hang out with your other buddy, Kale. The two of you deserve each other.

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Come see my show Laughter is the Best Medicine  on NOVEMBER 12 2015.