Quinoa, we are done. I have tried to like you. I have rinsed you, not rinsed you, fried you and rolled you up in a ball, but now I am done. And sure I like when we hang out with glazed pears, and chicken stock and feta but its them I like– not you. So don’t send me an alert me with a new picture of how I don’t know how to treat you. Why should I keep trying? You’re the one that is bitter, not me. Yes, my friends, are to blame: they said you were good for me. But after two years of endless hours on Pinterest I am tired- I must trust my gut. I am going against the grain. So lets just keep it casual. I may say hello at a party once in awhile. But that’s it. Off you go–go hang out with your other buddy, Kale. The two of you deserve each other.


Come see my show Laughter is the Best Medicine  on NOVEMBER 12 2015.