Don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter. www.kimmett.ca

The term bucket list didn’t exist until 2007 when a film by the same name, was written by Justin Zackham.

Thanks a lot, Justin. Thanks to Mr. Zakham, the term bucket list has become one of the most overused phrases in our culture.

Used more often than: “See what I did there.” “Think Outside the box.” “And, “My bad.” No one over 12 should be saying my bad. The Bucket list comes from the term kicking the bucket. Before 2007 when people were about to kick said bucket they’d languish on their couch for a day or two and say, oh gosh darn it I always wanted to go to Brazil.” And then they croaked.

It was a passing thought like I wish I wasn’t bald or if only my mom hadn’t locked me in a closet. But now not only do we have we didn’t do we have to create a list. That’s a lot of pressure if you are unwell.

Your family has to take time off work to drag you across the world because you didn’t save any money, they have to start a GoFundMe Campaign. Who can find a hot air balloon in the middle of February?

Yes, a ride in a Hot Air Balloon is # 4 as the top favourites on people’s bucket list!

What? Are we in the movie Around the World in 80 Days?

Travelling around the world in 80 days is number three on the list.

Number 2 is falling in love. Of course, you’re dying so talk about ghosting someone.

#1 is Losing Weight. Soon enough, my pet. Soon enough.

What if you can’t think of anything exciting to put on your list?

Or what if your list is just boring?

I am so glad she finally got that hall closet cleaned out before she croaked.

It’s funny what is acceptable for your bucket list and what isn’t.

Jumping off the cliff with a bungy cord? Acceptable.

Asking for someone to put a pillow over your head? Unacceptable. I think it’s crazy that perfectly healthy people have a bucket list. That’s not a bucket list. That’s called a New Year’s resolution. Something that never is going to happen.

A term used by privileged well-off people.

Do you know what my grandmother’s bucket list was?

Surviving childbirth.

Having a flush toilet instead of an actual bucket.

Do you know what a homeless person’s bucket list is?

To have a postal code.

Do you know what a 20-year-old bucket list is?

Is to be polyamorous.

Do you know what we called polyamorous in my day?
Being on a comedy tour!

I recently heard two 10-year-olds talking about their bucket list, and I wanted to slap them.

You’re a kid! You don’t get a bucket list. You get a Make a Wish foundation.

Get the terms right.

Besides you don’t want to do all the fun stuff too soon in your life.

I am 66 and I did everything brilliant in my 40’s and now what I’ve got to live for?

No! Really.

I’m asking what have I got to live for Justin?

I’m fine. Honestly, just fine. Oh no. Now I’m muttering to myself. I can’t stop muttering.

 

Want a Wednesday dose of funny? Sign up for my schmozeletter: www. kimmett.ca


The next memoir writing class is from 10 to 1 pm EST on April 7th! It’s called Firsts, Fails, and Fig Leaf Moments: The things that happened that you don’t want to talk about. The thing that makes funny and fascinating stories.

99.00 plus HST. debkimmett@gmail.com ! It’s on ZOOM!